With all these American Idol “I’m being considered as a judge” nobodies and has-beens coming out of the woodwork this week, I feel that it is time to propose that Fox has found its Glee lead in for the fall season: The Next American Idol Judge.
Done in the style of Food Network’s The Next Food Network Star or The Next Iron Chef, this would be a ten week special, with three episodes a week, aimed at finding the next judges to be paired up with Randy at the CocaCola table. Our host would, of course, be Ryan Seacrest. 24 hopefuls (12 men, 12 women) would line up to take a spin at the judges table, with a pair being sent home each week. Their judging panel would of course be made up of Simon, Paula and Nigel.
The first episode (Tuesday) would be a one-hour “quickfire” style challenge where judges are broken into teams and given filler and commentary on the week before to deliver, as well as “audition round” type scenarios to experience. The winner of the challenge would then get to choose which of the contestants they want to judge on the Wednesday “performance show.”
Of course, the Wednesday performance shows! In a nod to all of us die hard idol fans, the performance shows would start with an Idol “all star top 12, made up of the 9 season winners (Kelly, Rueben, Fantasia, Carrie, Taylor, Jordin, DavidCook, Kris and Lee) and three slots to be filled by a wildcard round. The wildcard round would be made up of the 9 second place finishers (Justin, Clay, Diana, Bo, Kat, Blake, DavidArch, Adam and Crystal), plus the three biggest idol names that didn’t make the final (Daughtry, Pickler, J.Hud.) Of course, the wildcard round would have the three contestants that would make it out predetermined, regardless of performance, but the judges would have to make their critiques believable despite this.
Voice of Ryan Seacrest: “Harry Connick Jr; your praise of Adam was effuse without being over the top, or showing your personal bias towards him. The judges have determined that you are the winner of this week’s challenge and have won your team immunity in tomorrow’s eliminations. Congrats man! (Harry runs over to partner Katy Perry and they squeal and hug) And Adam, since your judge is this week was the winner that means you get an extra ten thousand dollars towards the charity of your choice. Congrats to you too, man. And great performance by the way”
Thursday would be a half hour elimination episode where the bottom three judging pairs would stand before the panel.
Simon: “Jessica Simpson, your assignment was to take Kris’s amazing performance and damn it with faint praise, so that his fan base would be lulled into not voting. We found it neither coherent, nor believable.
Nigel: Justin Timberlake, you were paired with Jessica. Though your musical critique of Kris was on point, the judges felt it read too positive and convinced the casual viewer he was worth voting for.
Simon: Steven Tyler, you assignment this week was to make sure Crystal made it through to the next round. But your random babbling on about the life of a rock and roll artist on the road and failure to stay within the time constraints cause Glee to start 1 minute late. That automatically put your team in the bottom three this week.
Nigel: J.Lo, you were paired with Steven this week to judge Crystal. We understand that folk music is not your forte, but your clueless critique would have resulted in her voting results putting her in danger of elimination. If you want to stay in the game, you’re going to need to step it up.
Paula: ….Justin, Jessica, I’m sorry. You two have been eliminated.
Ryan: Kris—your judges have been eliminated. That means you’ll be leaving us as well this week. But for participating, here is ten thousand dollars towards the charity of your choice, and thanks so much for being a part of the Idol family (hugs all around.)
Anyone with me on this idea?