ChristWire’s Sendup of Pointless TV Boycotts

Do you feel the need to be offended by something that’s got a lot of critical acclaim, in  order to get attention? Christwire gives a round up of reasons why HBO’s new big hit should be your next target.

In essence, Game of Thrones is a poorly produced copy of Mel Gibson’s Braveheartwith a dash of smut straight out of Hustler Magazine added to spice up the frustratingly complicated drama. It can be preachy and pretentious one moment, and decidedly X-rated the next. You will witness effeminate men having sex in bathtubs while speaking about dragons, dead bodies splayed out in satanic pentagrams in the snow and some of the most artificial acting ever broadcast on the small screen.

How can such an illicit program be allowed on American television? Does it pose risks for our children? Can Christians voice their outrage and have the show censored or cancelled?

After the jump, a couple of my favorite reason you should boycott GoT.

5. By depicting the traditional heterosexual family unit as dysfunctional and a socialistic revolutionary army as an ideal alternative, the show reveals its underlying communist bias.
Should it come as any surprise that author George R. R. Martin, a power broker in liberal Hollywood, named the dominating spirit of these soldiers “The Red God”?

6. Actor Peter Dinklage, who plays a dwarf on the show, has become the poster child for sodomy amongst America’s youths.
Children identify with Dinklage because of his small size and comical accent, but his obsession withanal penetration crosses the boundaries into pure propaganda. How many children will watch the little man and want to try his grunty thrusts at home?

8. The Irish actors willfully glamorize severe alcoholism.
The ignominy of Ireland has always been the weakness of its people when it comes to alcohol indulgence. Why must Games of Thrones attempt to find humor in such a national disgrace?

10. The show is incredibly difficult for adults to understand.
Most parents will find the thick European accents of the actors confusing. The story, vamped up from the original book, is frustrating for its leaps of logic and implausible romantic scenes. The producers ofGames seem to understand this and have crafted the series so that it intentionally turns away older viewers. Should we be suspicious that they have worked so hard to have some private alone time with America’s children?

These are just hilarious. I highly recommend reading all twelve

3 thoughts on “ChristWire’s Sendup of Pointless TV Boycotts”

  1. Someone need to tell him about the difference between doggy style intercourse and anal sex.

    Also that this isn’t Europe, and Christianity does not exit (although the Seven do their best to fill in.)

    And the revolutionary army? Huh? Neither the Night Watch or the Dothraki fits.

    1. He’s referring to the forces under Stannis, following Rhyllor, the Red God. Definitely stretching to make the joke work, but bravo.

      Likewise, I believe the “always anal sex” accusation is a deliberate joke.

      All it needed was more focused umbrage taken at the nature of Sexposition, where plot and background can only be conveyed while nubile twentysomethings pretending to be teenagers writhe and grunt sweatily against one another.

      1. But wouldn’t that be reading ahead? I don’t recall Stannis’s army showing up in the first season. Did I miss it?

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