American Idol 11: Top Five Eliminations

…so: Hollie, whose perpetual presence in the bottom three means she’s toast? Or Phillip, who the producers are working hard to rid themselves of?

We report, you decide.

Joshua on the other hand, has announced that he’s not looking to make a record for radio. This is what happens when Jimmy promises you a record deal before Top Five week is over.

Coldplay. Either you love them or hate them. But at least they decided not to put dreck on as Carrie Underwood’s opening act. Speaking of Carrie–damn girl. This is what they need to win again. Look, girls who might be reading this–I was once like you, and I voted for Bo instead of “the Carrie-bot.” You know what? I WAS WRONG. Carrie is amazing. Idol needs to produce more of her. VOTE FOR WOMEN.

Coldplay gets to go twice? That’s not fair. I’d rather have two Carrie numbers.

Did I really see Phillip SPIT OUT HIS GUM LIVE ON STAGE? Even Crystal with her “whatever man” ‘tude never disrespected the proceedings like this. Kidney stones or no.

Safe:

  • Joshua
  • Phillip (sorry, producers.)
  • Jessica

Bottom:

  • Hollie
  • Skylar

Randy is sad–he says this is the best Top Five Ever. Well, best Top 5 since 2009, which is so long ago Randy can’t remember it.

And Skylar is gone.

Hollie is devastated. (They’re roomies.)¬†There’s a joke about Idol sending home all the girls and the right wing “War on Women,” but I don’t have the heart to go find it right now. But, sorry as I am to see Skylar go, I don’t think it’s the end of the world. Kellie Pickler went out 6th place and has a great career. Skylar’s going to to be signed to Interscope’s country division, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see her in a couple of years rocking the CMAs and gracing an Idol stage during results night showing them all how it’s done.

Next week.. “California Artists.” We can start taking bets now on P2′s doing Guns’n’Roses.

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