Tonight’s episode–when not focused on King’s Landing–covered everyone we didn’t check in with last week. We were treated to Theon-as-Reek, as House Bolton attempts to step into the power vacuum left by the Red Wedding. The bad news: Theon learns Robb is dead, and is so broken he can’t even take revenge. The worse news: Theon is so broken he admits to Lord Bolton that Bran and Rickon are alive. Locke, last seen putting Brienne in bear pits, is now hunting them. We don’t check in with Rickon, but we do see Bran getting wolfy with it, and then warg into a Heart Tree, which is far trippier than expected. Over the hills and far away, the night’s still dark and full of terrors. Is anyone else concerned that Melisandre is not just taking Stannis’ wife’s place in his bed, but also as Shireen’s mother figure?
No time for that now! The real plot this episode was centered in King’s Landing as Joffrey and Margaery were joined in Holy Matrimony. As the Dothraki say, a wedding without at least three deaths is considered a dull affair.
I’ve been waiting with baited breath for a good shot of Margaery’s wedding dress, like normal people were to see what the Duchess of Cambridge wore when she married Prince William.
But look, All Kate Middleton did when she married Wills was become a damn duchess so we could all call her Cathy Cambridge, instead of Waity Katy. When Margaery gets married this Sunday, she’s going to become a Queen. I might even suggest she’s going to become The Queen.
Any way you slice it, Cersei’s about to get replaced. So much so, her dress isn’t even included in these pictures. Wedding dress revealed below!
We’ve featured Postmodern Jukebox recently for Tunes for Tuesday. Now they’ve gone and gotten our attention again, by retooling the Game of Thrones theme for the smooth jazz crowd.
Take that, screaming goats.
The team didn’t do these for every episode last year, just the landmark ones like The Rains of Castamere. It’s too early to tell if these will be for every episode yet. But here’s hoping.
Fascinating. This chart goes book by book, chapter by chapter and breaks down how the show has and has not stuck to the chronology. Note how close to the line it is all through the first two series (with the sole exception of the Bran chapters moving forward a season), and how the line slowly flies apart as we enter last year.
By next year it will be a goddamn scatter chart.
Click here to embiggen.
Apparently 6.6 million viewers for a premiere episode–8.2 if you count the endless reruns deep into Monday morning!–is what it takes for HBO to greenlight more than one season at a time.
HBO has renewed GAME OF THRONES for a fifth and sixth season, it was announced today by Michael Lombardo, president, HBO Programming.
“GAME OF THRONES is a phenomenon like no other,” noted Lombardo. “David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, along with their talented collaborators, continue to surpass themselves, and we look forward to more of their dazzling storytelling.”
I do love a royal wedding, don’t you?
Below, we’ve got the episode titles and synopsis for episodes 5-7.
It’s been nine months since we last spent time in the Seven Kingdoms. Tonight was all about reestablishing where the pieces stand in our Game.
We open with memories of Ned Stark, and his great sword Ice. All gone now, the Starks defeated. Their remaining children are all presumed dead, save Sansa who is now a Lannister by marriage. Tywin strikes the final blow by having Ice reforged anew. This symbol of having a Valyrian sword in the family is one Tywin’s lusted after for years. Given the chance, he had them make two. This strikes me as a sign that Tywin is Westerosi nouveau rich. He doesn’t see the value in having one great historical sword. He’d rather have regular sized swords that happen to be made of Valyrian steel in order to boast his House has two: for Joffrey and Jamie.
The irony is Jamie’s lost his sword hand. He is no longer is Tywin’s shining son, but instead a cripple, to go with the dwarf and the daughter. Tywin thinks he can use this to get Jamie to quit the Kingsguard, go home to Casterly Rock and breed the next generation of Lannisters. But Jamie says no. After season upon season where no one says no to Tywin Lannister–certainly not his children–this act of defiance is stunning. Tywin disowns Jamie, but not in a thunderous way that throws him out. He doesn’t even take back the sword. Father assumes it will be temporary, his son will soon come round. Jamie responds the same way when Cersei refuses his advances. He too assumes it will just be a matter of time before she comes around. Like Father, Like Son.
If our favorite show was an 80s sitcom directed by Dick Van Patton….
The laugh track is what does it for me….
From the same people who brought you Dany the Disney Princess and Sherlock: The Musical (Season 3), we have a musical interlude, anticipating our next season.