Repeat after me:
Melinda Doolittle came in third. Elliott Yamin came in third. It will not be the end of the world if Joshua comes in third tonight. It will just mean next Tuesday will be really boring.
We can recite this to ourselves over and over for the next 55 minutes as Idol crams loads of filler, Lisa Marie Presley and Adam Lambert in before getting to the point.
Also, for the record, the “dramatic” cold opening they did tonight was the first time one of them has worked for me all season, and that’s completely due to the use of Simon&Garfunkel’s “Homeward Bound.” Let’s just all listen to Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme for the next 55 minutes. It will be more pleasant, and maybe watching Josh go home won’t hurt so much.
As yet another Idol season winds down to a close, FOX chief Kevin O’Reilly threatens to make more tweaks to the show in order to “freshen it up.” I’ve got one: REPLACE RANDY. (Sigh. I wish.) More likely, they’ll replace J.Lo who is once again making the rounds making noises that she might not come back next year, causing websites to hysterically tout that J.Lo is “quitting.” (She MEANS it this time! Sure she does. Her career comeback is over the second she leaves that chair.) Ah, the joy of the one-season contract.
But this probably won’t involve judging changes at all. The real drop in ratings came during the audition rounds, where The Voice’s chair turning gimmick beat Idol’s played out “terrible trainwreck auditions” gimmick. (The only time the Voice beat Idol all season, for the record.) The truth is, the trainwrecks were why non-Idol fans tuned in. They’ve moved on. Idol fans never liked that segment, so they wait until it’s over to tune in. Obviously, it’s time for a new tactic–one that will bring in the die hard idol fans from the getgo.
But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Now is not the time to discuss next year. Now is the time to see if the show can finally derail the P2 train, or if they will be stuck with a winner who’ll be missing the first month of the tour, not the mention the post-Idol promotion whirlwind, due to his delayed kidney stone surgery.
Onward to performances!
With last night’s performances all up to par if not above, we’ve got our first serious fan base war battle. Whose base is weakest? As much as I think she outshone both Jessica and Hollie by miles, I’m afraid tonight’s victim will be Elise, who’s been running on borrowed time for at least two weeks now as frontrunners have accidentally fallen first.
Ryan looks so much better than last night. He’s got energy! They announce a vote total! Tonight not only do we get to compare last season’s Stefano to Katy Perry in our weekly “ALL HAIL THE IDOL MACHINE” moment, but we also get a bonus performances from Queen’s official tribute band The Queen Extravaganza. This is the first time a “tribute band” has ever graced the Idol stage. I fully expect next year for us to have Beatles Week, and performance by The Fab Four to follow.
Ryan announces the Idol tour dates. Nope, still haven’t gone to one. If I didn’t go for seasons seven and eight, I’m not going to go now. Also, we’re not going to talk about the TMZ segment. Nope. Not going to do it.
After the jump…Somebody to love, and Somebody to send home!
EVERYONE HOLD EVERYTHING.
Ryan Seacrest is ill.
No, this is not Carson Daly’s big break. Neither Rachel Crow was available on short notice, nor Cat Deeley, who I’m guessing is on the wrong side of the pond. No, Ryan is soldiering on, because the prospect of having Nigel Lythgoe host is like the worst Steve Jones nightmare imaginable. But man–he looks rough.
So it’s not a full on rock week, but at least we get to hear some Queen. First round will be each of the contestants filling in for the lately departed Freddie Mercury. Second round will be “contestants doing whatever
they Jimmy damn well pleases.”
My favorite spoiler that came out this afternoon? “The _____ – ____ ___ Band.” There’s little doubt in my mind this is “The Space Between” by Dave Matthews Band. Because Idol is just that corny. But we’ll see.
Brian May notes the huge age gap between the remaining members of Queen and the top 6.
After the jump….a group number?