“And then there were nine” intones Alton as he and Giada enter the studio. No Bobby? No Bobby.
Our contestants are standing in front of envelopes, but this is no “Mentor’s Challenge” to give away immunity. Not today, thank you kindly. Today’s challenge is to make high end meals for movies goers. There aren’t any movies–just movie trailers filmed by our contestants. The audience will choose which meal they want based on the trailers. Each envelope has a theme. There are only three themes. Surprise! Team Challenge!
- Team Romance: Chad, Viet, Damaris
- Team Western: Russell, Nikki, Stacey
- Team Musical: Rodney, Chris, Lovely
Chris, after last week’s moment of likability, has gone back to Super Douchebag. Lovely doesn’t like him? He’s going to go get in her personal space and pull a Bush rubbing Angela Merkel and say he’s “killing them with kindness.” No, you’re killing me with clueless white male privilege. He’ll make high end mac and cheese. Rodney will do a entree pie and Lovely makes a donut for dessert. Why a donut? Because it doesn’t challenge her, and she’s afraid of screwing up yet another dish. Chris decides she should be making a beignet. For their trailer, it becomes clear they plan to sing. Over on Romance, the meal sounds good–Chad is going for wings, and Viet will do a berry dessert. Damaris wants to do grits. (As this was recorded months ago, trying to be the Next Paula Deen would have still seemed like a smart idea.) The problem is with their trailer plan–Chad wants to be sexy. I thought this man has done his homework? Over on the Western front, Russell has this great idea for “Spaghetti Western” but when asked to explain what that is, it turns out he has no idea what he’s talking about. Furthermore, Russell is very bad at bullshitting, so Nikki and Stacey end up walking over him. Nikki will, of course, do veggie chili and Stacey gets stuck on s’mores for dessert.
The trailers: On Team Musical, Chris and Lovely can’t sing. Rodney–the musician–is unintelligible. Team Romance does a Dating Game knock off filled with double entendres. It would be cute, but all I can think of is Jeff from two seasons ago doing “Balls on a Roll.” Rule #1: Never Bring Up Sex At The Food Network. South Park spelled out why. As for Team Western, Russell should be really glad he’s paired with Nikki and Stacey because they are fine (even if Stacey is a bit stiff.) He’s a disaster.
In the kitchen, Lovely is going to make her donuts out of premade pizza dough. So she’s making a cop out donut out of pre-prepared ingredients, and a terrible choice of pre-prepared ingredients at that. Chad plays with champagne because apparently that makes everything romantic. Russell is condescending to Nikki because she has no kitchen experience. He should concentrate on his own food.