It’s our final episode of the season. You’ve seen the pilots. If you cared about who will be rewarded with a thirty minute show on Saturday mornings, you voted. Now it’s time to sit through 55 minutes of filler while we wait for the results to be announced and the confetti cannons to fire.
We start with scripted banter in the car as the finalists pull up to the Chelsea Market. The taping of the finale is already underway. Bobby does the hosting honors, as he has since Marc Summers took his leave of the program. Giada then forces us to sit through a ten week recap that mainly consists of the Mentor’s reactions to things. In case those at home watching hadn’t been paying attention, they wouldn’t really learn anything from this recap what happened over the season.
As for the rest of the filler, we’ll take it bullet point style, as we always do.
Continue reading Food Network Star X: Finale
It’s the final regular episode of the season. This week, the format is a little different than the usual mini challenge followed by larger challenge. Instead it’s more like two thirty minute episodes stuck together.
Our four finalists meet up with the full mentor panel at Gotham West Market. There they are told, despite what the adverts for this week suggested, not all of them will be cutting pilots. Instead all four of them will cut thirty second promos, right here in a demo kitchen in the market set up for such a purpose. Those promos will determine which of the top three will be allowed to make pilots in the back half of the hour.
Since this is the last challenge of the season before making promos, it’s fitting that all three mentors are on hand to watch the taping. Nicole goes first and natters on with meaningless phrases like “Coastal Cuisine.” What is coastal cuisine? Sarah’s taping is edited to look like a disaster, but I get the sense she actually nailed it. (On the other hand, Those crazy thing about Texas, they’re all true? So it’s full of racists rabid evangelicals who want to shoot all the brown children dead and force women to back into the kitchen barefoot and pregnant? Perhaps that’s not what you meant for me to think Sarah, but…. Yeah.) Luca is so pretty, who cares what he’s saying? Actually, Alton cares, a lot. So much so, Luca is the first one he stands up and starts working with in order to make sure he’s coming across on camera properly.
But the real disaster of the day is Lenny. And I quote: “Like I’m speaking in tongues.” What is wrong? Why is he freezing up? He’s been this big character all season, and now suddenly it’s like he’s embarrassed to be that person in a promo. It’s very disappointing. It’s heartening to see Alton is trying to speak Lenny’s language in order to get him comfortable. In fact, all the mentors are encouraging.
Continue reading Food Network Star X: Take Me To the Pilots
This week our contestants are in New York City, having conquered both LA and Vegas. New York is the home of the network, so I’d expect us to spend lots of time in their own kitchen studios. But that is not to be, as this week’s challenge is doing live television on The Rachael Ray Show.
Live cooking demos on morning shows have been a staple of Food Network Star from the very beginning. It was the last challenge prior to filming pilots all the way back in the first season. Since season three, which coincided with the début of Rachael’s program, the competition made her that morning show stop. It says quite a bit that in the retooling of this competition to focus less on guest starring every big name on the Food Network roster, the Rachael Ray challenge has emerged back on the schedule in the same place (right before filming pilots) with very little alteration.
But first we have a mentor’s challenge. The selection committee is going to send our Top Five out to their favorite spot in the Meatpacking District let them have a “Live from the Chelsea Market” experience. Our contestants are each assigned a shop to visit, and then sent down with a small production team to await the show throwing it to them. Luca and Nicole do nice jobs with Lobster and Ice Cream respectively. Lenny is determined that he, as a cowboy, knows nothing about Yogurt, and in doing so wills himself to failure. Sarah stares blankly at the camera after being told repeatedly she is live. (She manages to save herself by being ridiculous once she does start talking, and makes Giada bark laugh.) But the saddest sight is Loreal, who crashes and burns due to Giada’s utter failure to teach these guys how to do the “Best Thing I Ever Ate” schitck a couple of weeks ago–at, of all places, a butcher’s shop. Not good for the Butcher Babe.
Continue reading Food Network Star X: Rachael Ray’s Dinnertime Dilemmas
This week, the production is still out in Vegas. With only six contestants left, it’s time for one of the most dreaded challenges of the season–the group meal.
Team competitions are a standard reality competition trope. It also prepares our competitors for the reality of Food Network’s line up, where the faces of the Network Brand are regularly thrown together in random configurations, whether it be judging panels, competitions or doing terrible talk show knock offs like The Kitchen. Take the shows we’re watching, for instance. Bobby Flay is clearly an arrogant douchebag. Giada is a cold mean girl. Alton is supercilious. Yet, as the mentoring team, they give us the impression they get along great, and are part of a larger happy family of Food Lovers.
Well, today Giada and Alton are giving that impression. Bobby Flay still refuses to come to Vegas, leaving them to present today’s challenge: Each contestant will be sent to a Foodertainment site in Vegas, and come back with knowledge to put towards making a Team Foodertainment experience. The experiences each contestant are assigned range from a $777 burger to a $1000 sundae. Since Giada failed to teach anyone how to do “The Best Thing I Ever Ate” in last week’s challenge, the advertisement for these experiences falls flat and the interview asides describing these meals are underwhelming. (Except for the Sundae, which is described as “Vegas in a dessert” and looks it.)
Continue reading Food Network Star X: Gods and Goddesses Help No One
This week, the focus was on overcoming Food Network’s biggest drawback. Namely, that they are cooking food on television–food the viewers at home cannot taste or smell. A required skill of the winner is the ability to describe the food they are making so we at home know what we’re missing.
The Top Six meet Giada and Alton at Caesar’s Palace in Vegas. (Bobby is off this week, opening yet another restaurant in NYC.) But before we can get to the challenge, we have the reveal of the Star Salvation winner who is returning this week.
It might seem odd that the contestants are surprised to learn about Star Salvation. But each contestant, as they arrived, expressed surprise at the second chance. (This despite the fact that the this is the second year of doing it.) Besides, it was such a different sidecar of a series this year, I’m not going to hold it against them. Next year though, contestants have no excuse.
So who is the returnee, Luca or Reuben? It’s Luca, of course. Reuben wasn’t going to be sent right back in, not after Luca survived all those weeks on the webs series. From the first week Luca was on Salvation, it was fairly obvious the show planned for him to return, especially when Food Network’s twitter tried to drum up how “shocking” and “controversial” sending him home was in the first place. (It really wasn’t.)
Welcome back, Luca! Everyone looks so thrilled to see you!
Continue reading Food Network Star X: Token Vegas
This week, Food Network Star has our cheftestants focus on merchandising. It’s the Make a Personally Branded Product challenge. The show only came up with this last season, but it’s effective. After all, how do we spend our money on Food Network stars? By buying their branded products at our local megamart.
Giada and Bobby meet our remaining seven in the Food Network Studio. Alton joins via Green Screen Studio to introduce…a Green Screen studio. A 360 degree Green Screen Studio, to be precise. This week will not just be about creating yourself a Product that defines Your Brand. It will also be about making a commercial for it. Alton signs off with “You should be able to sell it anywhere.”
I am disappointed that Reuben does not go with “What The Flan?!” Instead he is one of three different Hot Sauces. (Loreal starts calling hers a “Marinade” when she realizes this.) There’s also a Butter, a Jelly, Beets and….Baby Food. That last one is Sarah. Because why make something that falls within a wide POV like “Texas” when you can force something that sounds unnatural into it?
Continue reading Food Network Star X: Product Placement
This week, we get an episode timed with the season. Fourth of July is one of the Big Holidays, a time when everyone gathers in large groups and celebrates by eating. Everything on the Network this week is therefore themed to the holiday, in hopes you will tune in to get some inspiration before, during or after your party.
Our contestants arrive at Knott’s Berry Farm, a cowboy theme park. (Lenny looks like he’s dressed to work there.) All three members of the selection committee are on hand today–dressed in red white and blue, natch–to present the challenge: a Live Cooking Demo. We’ve seen variations of this challenge every season. We’ve even done this as a Fourth of July episode before, back in Season Seven.
The committee have red and blue envelopes to hand out with cooking assignments. To Wit!
- Lenny: Fish Tacos/Chips&Guac
- Emma: Crab Cakes/Coleslaw
- Chris: Grilled Chicken/Mac&Cheese
- Christopher: Shrimp Corn/Tomato Salad
- Loreal: Steak/Potato Salad
- Nicole: BBQ Pork/Onion Rings
- Sarah: Hamburgers/Pasta Salad
- Reuben: Fried Chicken/Bean Salad
One hour to make the dish, three minutes to demo. Giada reminds them to add personal stories/connections to the food. Alton reminds them their POV is not optional.
Continue reading Food Network Star X: Demonstration of Independence