Final iTunes rankings for the season.
#2 Tony Lucca “99 Problems”
#4 Tony Lucca&Adam Levine “Yesterday”
#7 Chris Mann&Christina Aguilera “The Prayer”
#9 Juliet Simms “Freebird”
#11 Chris Mann “You Raise Me Up”
#12 Jermaine Paul “I Believe I Can Fly”
#21 Jermaine Paul&Blake Shelton “Soul Man”
#66 Juliet Simms&CeeLo Green “Born To Be Wild”
Alrighty people–we’re taking your wagers now–what’s the Over/Under on how long it is until Tony Lucca is on twitter begging Nigel Lythgoe for another shot on TV because the folks at The Voice have already forgotten alllll about him? Not that we know that Tony is our winner, no, not for another two hours. We might get lucky. He was forced in via Adam’s shenanigans, so we know he hasn’t actually connected with the voting public. Jermaine had the best over all night, even though the song we’re “supposed” to vote on was his worst. Juliet had a bad night, but she’s had the best overall season, so perhaps she could still take it.
Until then we have two whole hours of filler. Let’s wade in and see if any of is was worth it, shall we?
We have four performances, and yet this is going to take 2 hours? Oh The Voice, I hate you sometimes. I think I’m really glad this will be over.
I’ve tried to be open minded for The Voice. I really have. There were things about it that are better than Idol when we started last year. The “Blind Audition” gimmick is very entertaining. But the “battle rounds” were a disaster–they went on far too long, and the predetermined outcomes were damning. In fact, I would say the predetermined outcomes–all the way to forcing Tony into the finals tonight–are what kill this show for me. Say what you will about Idol, but at least their results are not fixed. And since Jimmy took over, they aren’t arguing with who wins, they’re going to do whatever they need to in order to make sure they have a hit record. That show has learned its lesson: they are only as good as their last winner’s performance on the charts. The Voice still hasn’t caught on to that.
Speaking of fixed, shall we wade through 1hour and 45 minutes of filler to find out who they’ve done everything to make sure wins tomorrow?
Damn, Juliet didn’t just break the Top 25. Girl broke the iTunes Top5.
4. Juliet Simms It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World
11. Lindsey Pavao “Skinny Love”
19. Katrina Parker “Killing Me Softly With His Song”
21. Jamar Rogers “If You Don’t Know Me By Now”
24. Tony Lucca “How Do You Like Me Now”
36. Jermaine Paul “Open Arms”
42. Chris Mann “Ave Maria”
103. Erin Willett “Without You”
Meanwhile, Erin never even broke the Top 100. Dead dads might win pity votes, but it doesn’t inspire people to buy your music. I am surprised Lindsey placed so high–perhaps the indie quirk is a more popular sound than I originally assumed? Perhaps we might be lucky enough not to have Chris Mann butcher classical opera at us in a concerted effort to look down on the show that’s giving him free air time.
So, who’s up to make the final? And where the hell are those who made the finals last year anyway?
Finally! All four teams in one place! After weeks and weeks, we can finally compare those that are left to each other on a level playing field. Heck, maybe we’ll be able to remember who is left on each team since they’ll be here week to week.
Except half of them will be gone by tomorrow. Remember not to get too attached! Not that it’s all up to us. The judges also get to score them, which will get added to our votes, just in case, you know, we vote wrong.
So how do Team Blake and Team CeeLo match up? Is Team Adam terrible just in comparison to Team CeeLo, or is it really the bottom of the barrel? Can we buy CeeLo’s shirt with the heart-shaped picture of The Fluffy White Cat of Evil? Answers to these, and other questions, after the jump!
Nostalgia fueled our iTunes chart rankings this week, sending two to the Top 25:
16. Tony Lucca Baby One More Time
24. Juliet Simms Cryin’
38. Katrina Parker Jar of Hearts
42. Jamar Rogers It’s My Live
94. Cheesa I Have Nothing
139. Pip Somewhere Only We Know (eliminated)
169. Mathai I’m Like a Bird
213. James Massone Just the Way You Are (eliminated)
Mathai better hope for mercy, but when you’re outsold by an instant elim, you’re pretty well toast. The real question is will CeeLo continue his obnoxious quest to foist Cheesa on us another week, or will he finally let the cannon fodder drop?
After the jump: who is safe, who is saved and who will we forget by this time next week?
Back to Adam’s and CeeLo’s Teams. I barely remember who any of these people are, let alone which ones are left. It’s not really a big deal though, since two of them will be gone by the end of the night in a no longer “surprise” twist. Poor Carson still has to call it a “surprise” twist. His inability to sell the line reminds us all why we should be on our knees with gratitude that Ryan Seacrest re-upped his contract with Idol. Remember “your votes are critical, except that the judges eliminate someone before you can vote for them, and then pick half of who goes through. At least Adam is real about it–“We like control.” After a raft of fart jokes from the judges–and not one mention of Dick Clark, funny enough–we move on to performances.
After Monday’s predetermined eliminations to keep us from voting for the wrong people, how did everyone shape up on the iTunes charts?
32 – Against All Odds Jermaine Paul
33 – She’s Country RaeLynn
66 – Foolish Games Ashley De La Rosa
75 – Part of Me Lindsey Pavao
77 – Viva La Vida Chris Mann
85 – A Little Bit Stronger Jordis Unga
87 – Halo Jesse Campbell
175 – Set Fire to the Rain Erin Willett
Damn, Team Blake has two in the Top40…and that’s it. Erin is so far behind the others (including those eliminated) we can only assume her advancement is part of what the producers were working to ensure last night.
The little groups of three look so small and helpless up there, waiting to hear who’s headed out back to meet the squad. So let’s ignore yet another terrible performance by The Wanted, and go to results, shall we? Continue reading
Eight performances tonight, four from Team Blake and four from Team Xtina. In a twist (because this show can’t risk staying consistent) after the artists perform someone will get eliminated from each team by their judge, in order to keep America from accidentally voting to keep the wrong person. THE VOICE: XTREME RULEZ! Xtina claims to be super upset about this. Blake says that this took them all off guard. Perhaps he should learn to read? I’m sure it was on the schedule. Carson suggests that this is Adam’s fault for pointing out how well the contestants did when they were “singing for their lives.” I blame the XFactor for popularizing that term. It totally sounds like the eliminated person is going to be taken out back and put in front of a firing squad for the crime of not singing with enough passion.
After the jump, performances.
This week America managed not to totally disappoint me in their buying habits. Our iTunes rankings:
18. Juliet Simms Roxanne
67. Jamar Rogers Are You Gonna Go My Way
68. Mathai Ordinary People
72. James Massone Don’t Know Why
74. Tony Lucca In Your Eyes
129. Pip When You Were Young
201. Tony Vincent Everybody Wants to Rule the World
289. Katrina Parker Tonight Tonight
Juliet and Jamar were the best last night, and thankfully the buying public recognized it. As for Mathai and James being numbers 3 and 4…well, America isn’t perfect. Continue reading
Once More, it’s The Voice!
Last week, Teams Xtina and Blake shed two contestants in preparation for next week’s first quarterfinal round. This week, it’s Team Adam and Team CeeLo’s turn at bat.
Carson claims last week set a high bar. For people to trip over! it amuses me that Carson insists this is the chance to become America’s next big star. Let’s ask …oh crap…what was his name? The guy who won from Team Adam last year…Javier! Anyway, if anyone could remember who he was, we could maybe dig deep into obscurity and find him to ask how that’s working out for him.