Two hours of filler. TWO HOURS. This show better not run over, I have Project Accessory at 10pm, and as much as I love my reality singing competitions, XFactor, you should consider yourself on notice.
Not that XFactor has the clout to bring the level of guest stars Idol does, so prehaps this won’t be so overstuffed? Eh, that’s not fair of me, I suppose. But have you seen the caliber of the guests this season? I mean, seriously they gave a slot to Nicole? They brought in Jessie J? This does not speak well of their ability to bring in stars for the chance to hawk their brand.
(As an aside, I assume that there are people in the world who know that there’s more to “The Final Countdown” by Asia than that single loop of lyric yes? Sometimes I wonder.)
Group Number: “Edge of Glory” Lady Gaga It’s a huge group number! Oh hey, that Asian chick in inTENsity who can sing! I forgot about her. I’ve forgotten about most of these people, to tell you the truth. There’s the other groups…who were they? I forget. Hey there’s Leroy! And Stacy! And Astro is still a damn fine rapper for being 14. Who was that auburn-brunette girl? Wait, was that Drew with a red dye job? Bad move girl, you want people to recognize you. At least we recognize Rachel. Holy crap, being in a huge group number even serves to highlight further what a terrible sing Chris Rene is. Just when you thought he couldn’t be shown to be any worse. Did Melanie nearly trip? Good save. The judges call them all winners. Because this is America, in the second decade of the 21st century and All Have Won And All Must Have Prizes, except for 11 of you, of course who won’t get a dime for any of this outside of what the union dictates the show must pay you legally, and just have to pray to get noticed. Did you thank your SAG card today, and that reality shows are covered by their contracts?
Oh look! There are top three Contestant Performances! How Random!