Introducing Trekini Swimwear

When I was a teenager hopelessly into Star Trek: The Next Generation, people looked askance at anyone who sported anything even remotely star trek related, let alone something that resembled a uniform.

How times have changed. Now there’s an entire line of swimsuits based on the TNG era uniforms, and a swimwear accessories line to go with them. Thank you ThinkGeek. Here is their collection, known as “Trekini.”

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They are, of course, one piece bathing suits, not two piece. because when one goes to the pool, one wants to swim and be athletic, not lay around for Captain Kirk to gawk at. This is, after all, the 24th century. they are, naturally available in all three colors: Blue (Sciences), Gold (Operations), or Red (Command.)  Do note the embroidered pips show that those in Command and Engineering outrank those in sciences. (Red and Gold have 4 pips; Blue has 3.) We will try not to be too offended by this, since blue is totally what we’re ordering. (You can too. Order here.)

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Two different style cover ups are available. The first, on the left, is the famous “Deanna Troi” look, which she sported for over six seasons until someone ordered her to finally put a damn uniform on already. (Hey, at least they’re not suggesting wearing her outfit from season 1.)

The other is the bathrobe type item that Captain Picard sported, because in the late 80s, seeing men’s legs was still not as taboo is it was ten years later.

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For the guys, especially those who burn easily, ThinkGeek also has Hawaiian style shirts. Note that unlike the above pieces, this is the original Enterprise from the TOS era.

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And of course, who goes to the pool or the beach, and doesn’t know where their towel is? People who want to panic, that’s who. Towels are available for both the TNGers and the TOSers. Sadly, there does not seem to be any DS9 branded merch for the children of the 90s. Maybe next season.

 

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